A letter to my baby girl on her second birthday

My dear sweet Lucy,

Today you turn two. Two years old. TWO. It’s a little hard to wrap my brain around because, while it feels like you’ve never NOT been in my life, it seems like two years have gone by in an instant. It’s such a cliche, but most cliche’s become cliche’s because they are true to their core. And this one hits hard. Time is indeed a thief. I’d love to slow it down, or freeze you in this most precious age, but watching you grow into this amazing little person is such a privilege, and a joy, that I look forward seeing what you’ll get up to, or blow my mind with next, each and every day. I couldn’t possibly stop time because I can’t wait to see who and what you will grow into.

The world is a little scary right now. People are getting sick, losing their jobs.. dying. As of a few days ago your Dad is officially out of work for a while and that’s really scary. Of course you have no idea what is happening, but I can’t help but be a little sad about the fact that all of this is looming over your birthday; a time when we should be celebrating with family. But instead, we are locked away, waiting out the storm. You of course, are extra pumped your dad has been home full time. He’s your favourite guy and we’ve been having so much fun, all together at home.

And while it’s extra scary to be raising a child while the world is crumbling, it just makes me all the more grateful for you my love. You. You are the light. You are the joy. You are the joy for so so many people, you have no idea! You keep me grounded. You remind me what is most important in this world. You remind me to take things day by day, minute by minute, to live in the moment, and to appreciate the little things in life which incidentally, turn out to be the most important.

My very being has grown and changed so much over the last two years and I have you to thank my love. Becoming a mother is like the ultimate personal growth course if you allow it to be. I’m always really surprised when I hear other mothers recount that they’ve been unchanged by motherhood, and have managed to hang on to their old life, their old self, like that is something to be proud of. Me, I found quite the opposite to be true. And a welcome truth at that. And as I’ve leaned hard into this new season, this new self, my soul has changed for the better.

I was chatting with a friend recently about how hard life can be after children. I recounted the difficulties I’ve had over the past two years; the things people don’t really talk about. It’s a big adjustment you know, becoming a mother. But then I told her… “despite all of that, despite it being hard and despite sometimes longing for a life that used to look my old one, she has taught me more about myself, more about life, in her two short years on this earth than I have learned in my entire 30 trips around the sun. She is my greatest teacher, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.

How do you do that by the way? How does a two year old manage to show me things I’ve been unconscious of my entire life. I think its because children have this magical way of reflecting back what you need to work on most. And I’m so very grateful for that my love.

You are so special. You are kind hearted. You are quite literally the sweetest human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are a jokester. You are sensitive (and don’t you dare let anyone ever tell you that is a bad thing). The amount of empathy and emotional intelligence you show at the ripe age of two blows me away. You are bright, so bright it scares me a little, I am constantly in awe of you. You are silly and goofy and wonderfully weird. You are joy.

I love you always,

Mama